Toni
09-11-2000, 06:17 AM
What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes? Goes-in-tight!
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What does a 72-year-old snatch taste like? Depends...
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What's "68"?
You do me and I owe you one.
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What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Gagged!
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What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates? A tearjerker.
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What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive? Popeye almost
killed
him!
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Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life?
Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.
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How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb? Just one, but it
takes the entire emergency room to get it out!
**********************************************
What did the Indian say when the white man tied his penis in a knot? "How
come?"
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Why are cowgirls bowlegged? Cowboys like to eat with their hats on.
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What's the definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.
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What's the definition of a vagina? The box a penis comes in.
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What two words will clear out a men's restroom? "Nice Dick!"
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What do you call a truckload of vibrators? Toys for Twats.
**********************************************
What do you call kinky sex with chocolate? S&M&M.
**********************************************
Why do we have orgasms? How else would we know when to stop?
**********************************************
What's the definition of indefinitely? When your balls are slapping up
against her ass, you're in...definitely!
**********************************************
What do a dildo and soy beans have in common? They are both used as
substitute meat.
**********************************************
What is every Amish woman's private fantasy? Two Mennonite!
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What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner? The cold shoulder.
**********************************************
Why is sex like a game of bridge? If you have a good hand, you don't need
a
partner.
**********************************************
What do a coffin and a condom have in common? They're both filled with
stiffs, but you come in one, and go in the other!
**********************************************
How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on
your pecker.
**********************************************
Why do you get paid more at the Sperm Bank than at the Blood Bank? Sperm
is
handmade.
**********************************************
How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it.
**********************************************
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use a
lubricant.
**********************************************
If Eve wore a fig leaf, what did Adam wear? A hole in it.
**********************************************
When does a cub become a boy scout? When he eats his first Brownie.
**********************************************
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One...men will
screw anything.
**********************************************
What does a 72-year-old snatch taste like? Depends...
**********************************************
What's "68"?
You do me and I owe you one.
**********************************************
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Gagged!
**********************************************
What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates? A tearjerker.
**********************************************
What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive? Popeye almost
killed
him!
**********************************************
Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life?
Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.
**********************************************
How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb? Just one, but it
takes the entire emergency room to get it out!
**********************************************
What did the Indian say when the white man tied his penis in a knot? "How
come?"
**********************************************
Why are cowgirls bowlegged? Cowboys like to eat with their hats on.
**********************************************
What's the definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.
**********************************************
What's the definition of a vagina? The box a penis comes in.
**********************************************
What two words will clear out a men's restroom? "Nice Dick!"
**********************************************
What do you call a truckload of vibrators? Toys for Twats.
**********************************************
What do you call kinky sex with chocolate? S&M&M.
**********************************************
Why do we have orgasms? How else would we know when to stop?
**********************************************
What's the definition of indefinitely? When your balls are slapping up
against her ass, you're in...definitely!
**********************************************
What do a dildo and soy beans have in common? They are both used as
substitute meat.
**********************************************
What is every Amish woman's private fantasy? Two Mennonite!
**********************************************
What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner? The cold shoulder.
**********************************************
Why is sex like a game of bridge? If you have a good hand, you don't need
a
partner.
**********************************************
What do a coffin and a condom have in common? They're both filled with
stiffs, but you come in one, and go in the other!
**********************************************
How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on
your pecker.
**********************************************
Why do you get paid more at the Sperm Bank than at the Blood Bank? Sperm
is
handmade.
**********************************************
How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it.
**********************************************
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use a
lubricant.
**********************************************
If Eve wore a fig leaf, what did Adam wear? A hole in it.
**********************************************
When does a cub become a boy scout? When he eats his first Brownie.
**********************************************
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One...men will
screw anything.