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AgentCash
08-20-2002, 12:48 AM
But I needed a good laugh and this provided it. Picked up the link off of fark.

IRC logs
http://aborior.50megs.com/irc3.htm

Personal favorites -


(7)
<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

(10)
<superwoman> I had a boyfriend once that made me suck him off while I had a mouthful of beer.
<GrandCow> HAHAHAHA that was me bitch!
<superwoman> DANNY?!?!?!
<GrandCow> MOM?!?!?!?!

(17)
<evenpar123> I think I'm losing it...
<Slant> evenpar123: Losing what?
<evenpar123> my ability to tell the difference between games and reality
<evenpar123> Just today, I was driving down a street, and saw a building that had sunlight reflecting off it...
<evenpar123> And I thought "Damn....these are some nice graphics..."
<evenpar123> It was horrible...
<evenpar123> ugh

(19)
<AgentSmith> It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest...
<AgentSmith> One of these...has a future.
<Randerson> LMAO OMFG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about this
<AgentSmith> How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak?
*** AgentSmith sets mode: +m

(25)
<Charlesowns> Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5 submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore fetish gayporn.
<Charlesowns> man my mom started crying and now she thinks im gay... it owns

(26)
<QJ> your grandma opened the shower door
<QJ> while you were wanking?
<knox> yep
<knox> it was worse than that
<QJ> she finished you off?

(29)
<iMike> i was just thinking of hiring a man to service my septic system
<maff> is that the classy way to say you want to get fucked in the ass?

(30)
<kritical> matts: bikes go faster than cars...a bike at 60 mph is a lot faster than a car at 60 mph
<matts> kritical: um no...
<kritical> matts: um yes
<kritical> my sisters sport car at 60 mph goes faster than my dads explorer at 60 mph
<kritical> a bike at 60 mph will blow by a car at 60 mph

(33)
<Farnarcle> I think the last place I would like to be beamed is 'Up scotty'.

(34)
<na-dragon> Who would win in a fight? A Z-Fighter from dragon ball z, or a jedi master?
<jonblake> Well, thats a good question, there are alot of things that need to be factored in
<jonblake> Z fighters can fly, shoot big balls of energy, go really fast, and releport etc
<na-dragon> Yes but a jedi master can see all of that happen before he does it, and he has a light saber..
<jonblake> I guess this is one of those things in life we will never really know
<Vyse> GOD DAMNIT, Has either one of you ever even SEEN what a pussy looks like?

(38)
<RunninRaven> I don't think I have once asked Jeeves a damn thing
<moestavern19> I asked him once where i could find some kick-ass porn
<RunninRaven> What did he say?
<moestavern19> he said kickassporn.com

(39)
<[noam]> you know, i just came to a conclusion
<ryo-ohki> Really? I just came to some porno.

(49)
<mD5> please no-one send me that stuff about sex in my aol mailbox
<flukz> i had to turn off my computer cuz all the porn kept popping up
<Mattress> mD5, what's your e-mail? I'll remove you from the list
<mD5> mD5 @aol.com
<mD5> thank you for removing me from the list


I know it's a long post but it cheered me up and I hope it does the same for one of you.

Nima
08-20-2002, 12:50 AM
some really funny shit hahahaa

bramdaman
08-20-2002, 12:52 AM
:rotflmao:

turbo
08-20-2002, 12:57 AM
those made me laugh. thanks. :)

the dude
08-20-2002, 01:39 AM
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

Thanks man, i needed that.

ultra160
08-20-2002, 02:25 AM
Maybe we ought to have a thread to post these on.

Loved the aol mail list one - makes you wonder how they got the money for the computer in the first place!

Stouch
08-20-2002, 04:47 AM
The guy with the put down in no. (34) is my new hero :D

TeenGodFather
08-20-2002, 04:56 AM
I liked the first the most:D

QuaShe
08-20-2002, 05:03 AM
:rotflmao:

What about this one:

<Mikkel> If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you
woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody?
<Celestya> i dont think so
<Mikkel> Wanna go camping?


Thats some funny shit :D

Q.

oil
08-20-2002, 01:00 PM
LOL my favorite is (10)

<superwoman> I had a boyfriend once that made me suck him off while I had a mouthful of beer.
<GrandCow> HAHAHAHA that was me bitch!
<superwoman> DANNY?!?!?!
<GrandCow> MOM?!?!?!?!

Ludedude
08-20-2002, 01:14 PM
HAHA fucking great shit :D

Dcorp
08-20-2002, 01:27 PM
<AgentSmith> It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest...
<AgentSmith> One of these...has a future.
<Randerson> LMAO OMFG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about this
<AgentSmith> How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak?
*** AgentSmith sets mode: +m



MATRIX :D :p ;)

a1ka1ine
08-20-2002, 01:30 PM
some of the nicks look familiar :-D

Stouch
08-20-2002, 06:30 PM
Dont forget:

http://aborior.50megs.com/irc2.htm

Which includes such pearls as:

(5)
ohm: damn
ohm: FUCK
ohm: DAMN
ohm: i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up
ohm: FUCK
ohm: i go like this to her
ohm: "i want to suck on your clit"
ohm: FUCK

(17)
<Lloyddy> Can anyone tell me what sex feels like? My friend wants to know

(28)
<weDge> So I had a girlfriend for all of 9 months. She dropped by one afternoon when I was sick with a pan of brownies and a video tape with the simpsons on it (my favorite show). so I start eating the brownies and turn on the tape. midway through it, it cuts to her sucking off some dude. he nuts in her mouth, she looks at the camera, and says "you're dumped. enjoy the brownies" - and spits the mouthful of cum into a bowl of brownie mix. fucked up huh? I want to die.

(29)
<studdud> what the fuck is wtf?

(43)
<zyrowan> when I have a fiance
<zyrowan> I'm going to get "Will you marry me?" tatooed on the back of my balls
<zyrowan> and talk her into a rim job
<zyrowan> it'll be soo romantic

:rotflmao:

Breaker
08-20-2002, 06:36 PM
I vote for number 28.. if this is for real ;)

Relic
08-20-2002, 06:51 PM
http://aborior.50megs.com/timetravbel.jpg

Brilliance.

Breaker
08-20-2002, 06:53 PM
Haha.. He plans something big as they need weapons? :D

AgentCash
08-20-2002, 08:41 PM
Oh dammit now I'll never be able to eat brownies again. :mad:
I could see my bitch of an ex pulling some shit like that too.

Freakster.net
08-21-2002, 12:29 AM
Originally posted by AgentCash
Oh dammit now I'll never be able to eat brownies again. :mad:
I could see my bitch of an ex pulling some shit like that too.

Want some thick milkshake? :eek:

illskill
08-21-2002, 12:51 AM
IRC is the second greates thing on the internet, after porn ofcause :D
some of those line are funny as hell :D :D :D :D