Shady Lurker
04-10-2002, 01:55 PM
Take this test to see...<br /><br />1. In the company of feminists, intercourse should be referred to as:<br />a) Lovemaking<br />b) Screwing<br />c) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town<br /><br />2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:<br />a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship<br />b) Your blood-test results<br />c) Five tequila slammers<br /><br />3. You time your orgasm so that:<br />a) Your partner climaxes first<br />b) You both climax simultaneously<br />c) You don't miss SportsCenter<br /><br />4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:<br />a) Healthy, creative love-play<br />b) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to<br />c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about<br /><br />5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:<br />a) The best part of the experience<br />b) The second best part of the experience<br />c) $100 extra<br /><br />6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is:<br />a) No concern of yours<br />b) Not a problem - she can join your gym<br />c) A conservative estimate<br /><br />7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:<br />a) A myth<br />b) An oxymoron<br />c) A moron<br /><br />8. Foreplay is to sex as:<br />a) Appetizer is to entree<br />b) Priming is to painting<br />c) A queue is to an amusement park ride<br /><br />9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?<br />a) "I hope we can still be friends."<br />b) "I'm not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone...."<br />c) "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You."<br /><br />10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:<br />a) Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy<br />b) Is uptight and a waste of time<br />c) Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place<br /><br />If you answered 'A' more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man.<br /><br />If you answered 'B' more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're still a little confused.<br /><br />If you answered 'C' more than 7 times, then your a real man, and may kick my ass just for asking.<br /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="mad.gif" />